There is nothing wrong with a woman welcoming all men’s advances as long as they are in cash.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible…and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, “Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?”
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.
Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.
May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.