Funny Quotes

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Accident is the name of the greatest of all inventors.

Author: Mark Twain
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To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.

Author: Woody Allen
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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.

Author: George Carlin
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It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.

Author: Voltaire
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I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.

Author: Frank Sinatra
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Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we have told it to the same person?

Author: François duc de la Rochefoucauld
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Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden.

Author: Orson Scott Card
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I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Author: Robert McCloskey
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The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.

Author: Ernest Hemingway
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It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.

Author: Mark Twain
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