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Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.

Author: Unknown Author
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There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.

Author: Unknown Author
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I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.

Author: Marie Corelli
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There is nothing wrong with a woman welcoming all men’s advances as long as they are in cash.

Author: Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.

Author: Woody Allen
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible…and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

Author: Victor Borge
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, “Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?”

Author: Quentin Crisp
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When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Author: Mark Twain
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I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

Author: Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Author: Frank Sinatra
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